This time last week saw my eldest daughter, my beautiful first born rainbow baby, have her first day in pre-school. She has been going to a toddler nursery group a couple of mornings a week, but for some reason her attendance of pre-school seemed so much bigger, a massive milestone. I wasn't ready for all the emotions that hit me that morning. Here's a letter I wrote to my daughter on that first day of her future.
My darling Squidgy,
I can't believe that this day has come around so quickly. Even as I watch you in your grown up, collared dress and smart Clarks shoes, carrying your rucksack to your very own coat peg in the classroom cloakroom, it still feels surreal.
It feels like only yesterday that I was holding you in my arms for the first time, and yet here you are, no longer a baby, but a beautiful young girl growing into the perfect little lady. I can never express how proud you make me every day, as I see what a wonderful person you are. The way you love your daddy, and care for your little sister make my heart soar.
I'm sorry you cried as you realised you didn't know anyone, and it was all new all over again. I hated leaving you behind like that, but I know that you will have the time of your life once you settle in, you always do.
Seeing you start pre-school is just one of so many milestones that I know you are going to hit in the coming years, and I know that I won't be any more prepared for them than I was for this. However, I know one thing for sure. I know that I will enjoy every moment that I have with you because time is flying by in the blink of an eye.
You are my first born, and will always have a special place in my heart as my first rainbow baby and the one who helped to heal my heart. I am so glad I am the one that was chosen to be your mama, even if you drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, I could not love you any more than I do.
All my love, forever and always,